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| The 'terrible twos' is a label, and like all labels, is probably as much wrong as it is right. However, being no expert, doesn't stop me from having a firmly held view. As a child progresses from two to three, they start to understand how the world works. And, they start to understand that they can shape some of that world: with actions, and with words. Alannah has quite firm opinions. She knows what she likes to wear, and what she will not wear. Yesterday, she got the sleeves of her trakkie-top wet when playing with water (because I forgot to suggest she roll them up). Nothing I offered her in exchange was acceptable: there was a nice long-sleeved skivvy, but she would not part with the pink t-shirt; there was a nice thin, red cardigan, but she was adamant. She wanted the trakkie-top again. So, I rolled the sleeves up a bit. She is starting to try on some negative behaviours; I think mainly to see what my reaction will be. Not me, because it is me. But me, as the supervising adult. She was relieved when I asked her if she would like to go to the 'thinking place', which is a time-out, circuit-breaker concept that Kirsten has explained to me. I have an idea of how to ameliorate some of this: if it works! I am going to introduce a new activity each session, and make sure that the activity is a challenge for her. She has adored the 'Guess Who' game since I brought it out, and has played with it incessantly. She knows many of the cards off by heart: the names of the people, I mean. But this will have run its course come next week. So today, in preparation, I reorganised my courtyard, a change being as good as a holiday. I like to operate in 'rooms' - I garden like that, too. Change activity by moving to another physical area. I am devising an activity circuit: drop balls into tube; throw small bean bags through hoop; hop into a square and pick up stone; go through tunnel; and, limbo under a rod. I will also get a version of the game 'Twister', as she is a very physical girl. This week, being nice and warm both days, we were solidly back into having water in our sand-pit. Hence, the top images. On Wednesday, she spends the morning with me, and after her sleep Grandad picks her up and takes her to the park to play, if the weather is good. Hence, the bottom images. |
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3 comments:
Alannah has good comunication skills and adults who have time to listen to her and give attention, so she may not have much of the
terrible twos" I think it often has a lot to do with frustration and attention seeking.
The best thing to deal with all kinds of situations is distraction, if you can get their attention focused on something else it stops a lot of things escalating, whether it is destructive,painful,dangerous,naughty or whatever.
Talk in a quiet voice,so they have to listen carefully and ramp down the noise level, then get your grey cells going 19 to the dozen to come up with something that will get her focused on something to hear, see or do.
For scrapes and bumps there was always attention and sympathy then "what does it need?.... a kiss, a cold washer or some Savlon cream" the child decides their level of need, and no blood, no bandaid (with 4 kids a packet would soon be empty)
If a child is really hurt, distraction (after first aid,cuddles etc) is much kinder than letting them suffer and escalate into a half hour of sobbing and being miserable."did you hear/ see that bus, we could go on a bus next week ,where would you like to ride to, what would we see, what should we take, we can make a list or do a drawing and then you can choose colours for colouring in" etc.
Our favourite bus ride was to the town centre,call into an op shop, choose a book for every child,sometimes a milkshake then back home,we would have to pack a warm top and a sandwich in case waiting at the bus stop was involved.Fun outing for a few dollars.
Yep. Sonya is getting frustrated with the terrible twos. She certainly tries the distraction theory and negotiation but he still has uncontrollable tantrums at times. She just has to let him ride it out she too. She talks in a quiet voice and it often works. The thinking place sounds like a good concept. can you share more info on this idea? He gets time out in his room.
Alannah is such a darling, it's hard to imagine her being terrible, Julie. Some little girls do manage to pass through that year without major upheavals, and she is very bright, so that should certainly help.
I love to see photos of her, especially when she's wearing that look of intense concentration.
Luv, K
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